Body Neutrality: What’s New About Neutral?

Do you remember being blissfully unaware of what your body looked like? Early on in childhood, we move because it feels good. We pick out clothes because we like what they look like. We do what we want, without worrying about our appearance or what others may think about our body. Over time, our relationship with our body evolves. During our formative years, it can become all too easy to be influenced by outside forces. Media, social media, celebrities, peers, even our families start to shape our body image and how we compare ourselves to what we see in the world around us. 

While what’s considered desirable is a constant evolution, there’s a specific ideal of beauty that has been forced upon us by eurocentric patriarchal standards. We can all imagine the boxes that need to be checked to fit into this ideal: white, thin, tall, young, long hair, big breasts, able bodied… the list goes on. It’s been ingrained in us to feel negatively about our body if our appearance falls outside of the stereotypical beauty ideals that have been embedded within our society. It’s all too common to never feel good enough, no matter what we look like whether we check every box or none at all. 

But lately the body empowerment movement, with concepts like body positivity and body neutrality, is shifting the conversation. By talking about these concepts more, we can hopefully start to reprogram our mindset because we shouldn’t be made to feel wrong by simply living in our bodies. 

What is Body Positivity?

While the body positivity movement has been around for decades, it’s really picked up steam over the last 10 years. Lizzo, Ashley Graham and a growing list of influencers have become leaders in this movement. So what is body positivity? Body positivity promotes an unconditional love of your body, especially when your body falls outside of what the traditional confines of what “right” looks like.  

It sounds so nice in theory right? Love the skin you’re in. Cellulite on those thighs? You can still wear those booty shorts! Don’t have flat abs? You can still rock a crop top. Acne Flare up?  Yes girl, you can still go au natural! 

But is loving the look of every part of you realistic? For some, maybe. But for many others, this can feel like yet another unattainable goal, leading to further feelings of disappointment. For example: “I feel bad about my upper arms and want to cover them - but maybe I should just wear this tank top because if I don’t I’m not pushing back at the unrealistic beauty standard that I don’t want to subscribe to anymore. I know I should love my arms but they still make me feel self conscious.”

And that’s where a new player enters the chat.  

Meet Body Neutrality. 

While body positivity is about loving your body unconditionally, body neutrality is about accepting your body the way it is. 

Let’s unpack that a bit more.  Body neutrality allows us to recognize that our body's appearance and ability doesn’t determine our value. Feeling positive about your body is a wonderful thing. However, you don’t have to love every part of your body to respect it; you don’t have to love every part of your body to accept it. Body neutrality gives you the space to recognize your feelings and practice acceptance; acceptance of the body you have, the shape, size, curves or lack thereof; the way it moves, the way it feels; the purpose it serves you. 

How can this show up IRL? I think writer Megan Jayne Crabbe says it best: 

“You don’t need a flat stomach to wear the dress. You don’t need to wear the dress if you’ll just be thinking about your stomach.” - @meganjaynecabbe via Instagram

So spot on right!? Do yourself a favor and follow her on instagram immediately!

How do we practice body neutrality throughout the Hilandel custom process?

For women, messaging of ideal body standards and toxic diet culture are heightened around major life events - especially weddings where the bride literally becomes the center of everyone’s attention. “Sweating for the wedding,” extreme workouts and crash dieting has become normalized and celebrated within our culture with little consideration to the long term harmful mental and physical toll it takes. We’ve had enough! 

Hilandel’s custom bridal designs make each bride the muse for her own dress; as it should be. That starts with developing a deep understanding of who our brides are, what matters to them and how they see their bodies. 

The traditional bridal market requires brides to cram into a mold. Our brides create their own. We celebrate individuality and believe that it’s each person’s unique qualities – shape, size, aesthetic, identity, culture – that make her beautiful. We’re there to guide our brides and to help them uncover what makes them feel authentically like themselves. 

The technical design starts from the body and then we work our way out. We do this with body neutrality in mind. If a bride feels uncomfortable with a part of their body, our goal is to figure out how we can create a design that helps them feel at the least comfortable and at the most accepting. 

For example, if you come with feelings about your arms and you want sleeves to cover them, we’ll support you and design the greatest sleeves you’ve ever seen. But, if you don’t really like sleeves and only feel like you have to wear them because of what society is telling you, we are here to tell you - you don’t! We’ll work together to create something for you just as you are, with your feelings about your body in mind, and in the end a design that helps you feel uniquely beautiful.

Want to learn more about our custom process? Let’s chat!

Want to follow some other amazing women who are experts in this realm and we are learning from everyday? Check out: @thebodyisnotanapology @yrfatfriend @katiesturino

X- H