There are many places that I find inspiration and although I wouldn’t go as far as to call myself a film buff, but I do love TV and movies. Or maybe it would be more accurate to say there are some special pieces of television and film I’ve become truly infatuated with. Most of these faves stem from a time where you couldn’t just binge watch anything and everything on demand, but rather had to invest in owning a DVD or VHS if you wanted to indulge in obsessive consumption of content.

Rewind to 2006 when I was 20 years old and Sofia Coppola comes out with the movie Marie Antonette, a film which I can only describe as ABSOLUTE VISUAL DECADENCE. I watched this movie over and over again with my girlfriends on Sunday nights and alone while working on projects. Each time becoming more and more indoctrinated with the deliciousness that is: the sound track, the scarcity of dialogue and the spectacle of the makeup and set. But the cherry on top of the overly iced gâteau were the costumes by Milena Canonero. She absolutely ruined me …and… won an Oscar!

Rewind further to 1990, 16 years before the release of Marie Antonette when I was 4 years old. Madonna performs her new hit song “Vogue” on the MTV Video Music Awards. I would also like to point out that this was a point in history where MTV just played music videos - what a time to be alive! The dancers and set are all decked out in Rococo flare with the Queen of pop herself dressed as Marie Antonette. Now, to be fair, did I watch this live and have a core-memory banked at the age of 4? Maybe, but most likely it was past my bedtime. However, even if only in reruns years later, I do have memories watching this performance and thinking it was the most incredible display ever.

Now, returning to 2006, at the time I was in college and taking Art and Design History classes. Of course, we spent time on the Late Baroque/Rococo era where Marie Antonette reigned Queen (literally and stylistically). The projector at the back of the room hummed as it clicked through slide after slide of the ornamental, intricately detailed architecture. At the time, I thought “damn did they know how to gild the lily.”

Based on these classes, I knew that it wasn’t just the mid 1700’s style that I found ridiculously captivating. It was how in the 1990s and 2000s pop-culture, these women: Kirsten, Sophia, Milena, and Madonna, took what appears to the height of frivolous, femme, flamboyance and flipped the script. It’s not just about the obvious opulence, there is subtle rebellion in it. These depictions for me were such a moment for the female gaze and symbolized the push and pull that I think most women experience being caught in a double bind.

What do I mean by that? Well, I think this quote from a 2018 Refinery29 article sums it up quite well:

“But most of all, it’s a movie about being a teenage girl. Marie Antoinette takes on the (low) expectations we have of young women, and the pressure to conform to standards they’ll eventually be condemned for.”

I would be remiss not to point out the problematic elements at play here. After all, the historical figure of Marie Antoinette (although only a child used as a political pawn) symbolized a class of people living in the highest of luxury while ruling over a starving country. Madonna’s performance, in a version of drag, while singing about “voguing” has been appropriated from Queer Black culture. (Ps: If you haven't watched the doc “Paris is Burning”, you MUST!)

So how can I possibly find inspiration in pieces of art that seem to be ignoring or at the very least glazing over these larger systemic issues? It’s a predicament I find myself in as I become more aware and I know I am not alone. This is why there are debates over things like “Separating the art from the artist” and “Not looking for heroes in history.” For now, I am willing to recognize that inspiration can make me feel conflicted. And most importantly, when it is my turn to create art, I do so as thoughtfully as possible.

xx- Hillary
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